WHAT AM I GOIN TO DO???

July-November 2009
Well, to be frank, this is my last semester studying theory in UiTM Samarahan...
Next semester, I'll be goin' for my practical..
for now, I ain't sure where will I goin' to be placed...
Last 2 months during semester break, it wasn't that interesting I can say..
Lots of work need to be done...
My practical, my resume, family matters..
bla...bla...bla...
coming back to campus for the last 3 weeks were unpredictable..
everything happen, in and out, too sudden...
our trip was firstly cancel due to H1N1 whereby we planned to go to Bali by the end of the semester...
so, we had another plan which is to go to Mulu National Park...
well, it was actually still in progress but out of sudden,
IT HAS BEEN CANCELED AGAIN!
my goodness!!!
what's happening actually!
i'm not pointing my fingers to anyone but who to be blame??
I've tried so hard to convinced my mom,
wasting amount of money,
killing myself goin here and there,
calling this person and that,
cryin' fatiquely..
went to this meeting and that meeting which normally wasnt gona end with any good or reasonable decision...
hah!
everyone main lepas tangan you know!
and again, out of sudden,
we were assigned to do one project..
"Cultural Night"
with only one themee.....
we've been discussing among each other..
we have one word perhaps..
"HOLLYWOOD"
WOW!!
how's that gonna be???
seriously....!
sounds interesting aint??
well,sure it is..
I'm looking forward to see better future for this..
phewww....!

ETR is another project need to be done..
GOSH!
does it has to be this difficult??
my pointer was horrible last semester...
I don wanna kill myself for this semester..
i want it to be meaningfull...
sound easy isnt??
well, think twice..
i am still not regret of being here to continue my study cause that is what i want..
i will study no matter how old my age will pass by..
studying is another one good think in my life..
i am not that 100% brilliant student,
but as how everyone thought of their own life,
i thought better of my own future..

this semester is goin to kill me and blended my brain!
AAaaaaRggHHHhhh~


WHAT AM I GOIN TO DO????

I WORSHIP YOU LORD..I LOVE YOU...!!!

LIFE WAS GOIN' QUITE TOUGH LATELY...

Goin' back to my hometown for the last 2 months was hard for me...

well, life isn't that easy all the time...

the night I arrived at home, I have to look after my grandpa...

he barely can't walk..

well, i don't really know why...

few weeks later after Gawai celebration,my other grandpa from dady side passed away...

exactly the next day, my new-born niece passed away few second after she was delivered...

she was so beautiful...

very fair, cute, chubby, and perfect..

but as what people always said, God love those who went earlier than us..

perhaps I believe that but my faith says, that's what God had plan on us....

His words and works are always wonderfull...

believe in Him, you'll have your eternal life..

that's not the end of the story..

i lost my dearest pet named Angel,a rabbit..

he died too..*sob2*

I won't question all that...

God is good all the time and all the time God is good...

I love all of you..

My prayers wont stop...

stays in my heart as all of you were part of my life..

*GOODBYE*

M.I.S.S.I.N.G

There are many things I have been missing alot lately...

I miss my rabbit back in Miri...

I miss my family so much though I'm goin back this comin' thursday...

I miss my days when I was an athelete...

Those days were totally awsome...

i won medals by medals...

most of them were "GOLD"

arrRRggHH...!!!

I miss my sporty life!!

wish can go back to school...

i miss my dad..

i miss my days in KEM PRINCESS HALIZA, SEPANG...

I miss Mickey and Brownie...

I miss hanging around with my fwens in mIri...

I miss my backyard...

I miss driving mom's car without she knowin' it..

i miss chillin' around with my kazens...

i miss skateboarding...

i miss swimming...

i miss! i miss! i miss!!!!!

aduuuuuhhh.....!

seriously I miss everything!

~xoxoxoxo~

You Told Me in A Dream You Always Loved Me....

You told me in a dream you always loved me.

I wept with joy at what with joy you said.

My sadness was not there.

It was so lovely.

And with you was my darling, also dead.

The sky was with an early sunrise burning,

Yet still with ample darkness for the moon,

Which held the secret of its youthful yearning

Although it knew that it would vanish soon.

How wonderful, I thought, at last to hear you

Say what I had known but never heard!

Abandoned, I have long longed to be near you

And find my long-lost refuge in a word.

I saw the truth of it within your eyes

And blessed the dream that ends but never dies.

ps: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MAMY...

"another day to go on with"

move on an keep on move on..
sometimes it is just so hard to face another day...
no wonder there were people who dare to commit suicide..
it makes me think..
why life must be so hard, so difficult, so challenging, so frustrating???
it makes other hate themselves more..
it makes people feel down of themselves when ever they're not strong..
i want to understand that...
i want changes in life..
my life, other people lifes....
strenght, love, courage and enthusiasm what create life to its' best..
when you say you love someone, how much does it exactly means to you???
till which level will you sacrifice for your loves one?
sometimes being selfish is also good when you know how to use it..
i live my life by bothering to care about others....
i care about how they feel what they want and what they need..
perhaps sometimes i wont be able to fulfill everything
but at least i am there to listen to every words they eager to tell others who willing to hear..
but i forgot that i never care anything about me...
but i am always fine with it as i have my dearest Jesus with me..*winking*
there are people who lost their loves one...
some of them still can survive without the person whom they love so much are no longer around...
but some are not...
i lost my dad when i was 17...
doctor said he was unable to survive because of heart attack...
3 years has passed by but i still feel his presence around me..
i can say that i am among those whom sometimes can be very stubborn to accept reality and facts cause those two words can be very heart-tearing...
i still cry even until now for losing my dad..
he's the best!
but i have to move on...
i hope other people are like me..
that's how life suppose to be..
we came in alone and with nothing to the earth...
and that is how we will leave it one day..
perhaps dady is watching over me...
i always pray that dady is with HIM up there...

p/s: "dear Lord, i pray that my dady's soul is rested in peace as he is joining Your kingdom for now and forever. give me strenght and wisefull thought as i am living in this world walking every steps i have. lead me dear Father, as i kneel on my knee and giving up all my body and soul to you Lord, let everything that will happen is as how You want it to be for me..."

FRIEND, FRIEND, FRIEND, ANDDD...

"bon2 and Abiey"

we're at the rainforest 08'

"roomate ku yang krek..Atie..."

"ungly bettys"

"pasangan ideal"

wawawwa...friends jer la....

"at alan salon"



"our dear atek"

"after prom nite"

"bon2 and yen"

"mima and bon"

"nice ah..."

"we love each other"

*P0werpuff Gurlz*

i met them 2 years ago...

my first week in UiTM wasnt that bad..

i have friends there anyway...

but i still remember in that particular 1st week, she came to me asking where was the class...

well, we started to be coursemate since then..

LOL~

her name is Annalea Kennedy...

we prefer call her *Atek*...

nama glamour bha...

she told me that * atek* actually means *cantik*..hehehe..suite her then...

she is our "BLOSSOM"

this another person was met to me not by coincident...

my dearest friend Esther Ruran asked me to find her..

WOW~

she's totally NERD!!!

hahahhahahahaahaha...!!!!LOL~

it was before...

she's beautiful,tall,obssesive,crazy,childish and fun to mingle with...

she's my roomate since we were in Part 2...

I knew alot about her...

well, she is "BUBBLE"!!!!

*guess who's "BUTTERCUP"???

we've been through alot of things together..

some were sad, some were happy, some fulll with hatred, and sometimes full with adventures...

well, here are ten things you should know about us:

1. we love shoppinggggggg!!!
2. we talk bout' gurls...
3. we make fun of others....
4. we play make-over alottttt.....
5. we love long-day sleep...
6. we kissed each other..LOL~
7. we're real sisters..
8. we dont have same interest usually..*funny*
9. we are all the eldest in our own family...we correct other people grammartical errors and pronounciation during presentation!
10. we laugh at others

yes, we are friends, BFF for sure...

but we are different..

we dont have same interest, we argue, we criticise, but we areee....

"THE POWERPUFF GIRLS"

Trip to Kampung Mongkos, Serian

4 days 2ytes....
those days were rough...
da best part, i have "family"!!! (mcm anak terbiar jak)
i was barefooted while walking in the jungle within dat 4 days..!~gowshh....!!!

LOL~
funny bha actually...

here are some pieces of experiences that u guys might wanna see...

DAY 1~

Arriving...hehehe..Nurid syuk abis la yah.wawawa....

cita2 wit mdm joe n miss silver..*evon carik koyong sowang2*

picnic time, everyone!!!

handicraft nite! these are such cool stuffs...

DAY 2~

Fuh! this was the most killing day for all of us. we went for jungle trekking which was not actually jungle but most likely, was actually mountain...

we were punked by the villagers..*winking+laughing*

But it was totally AWSOMEEEEeeee!!!!!
Check it out!!!

enthusiacticccc.....*can you see???*

my coursemate.they know how to enjoy too. LOL~

our london boy turned into rainforest indian native.HAHAHA!!!

'

picnic again guys???

this was very tiring..trust me...FUH!

DAY 3~

we went to the Indonesian Border, and seriously, I was barefooted all the way!!!

I would never ever gonna forget that experience...

but it was cool cause i managed to get to Kalimantan Indonesia withourt any passport.LOL~

at night, we had our Farewell Night with the villagers...

we dance, we sing, we laugh, we were having so much fun...

enjoy..!!!

guess what are these??

crabby patty???

one lost Indonesian.LOL~

we're Indonesian...!!!! Rakyat Segumun!

.....us.....

responsible people..but not those two from the left.hehehe....

the villagers...our fathers....*winking*

Bidayuh Traditional Dance

"Extremely Fantastic, Exciting Experiences"

DAY 4~

This was our last day...

....hmmmm.....sad you know?

but i know we left our footprints there...

"as an remenbrance for eternity"

scenery from the top of the hill

sayin' goodbye to our mom + nephew...Bye2..

my siblings with our dad.well, not permanently...LOL~

anyway, anyhow, we still remember all of you...

i miss my family there, especially my nephew, Ryan..

thank you for the hand-made braceletttt..

i like it so much!

i still have it you know???

You're such a sweet kid...

God bless all of you...

~xoxoxo~

Diploma in Tourism Management, UiTM Samarahan (Part 4_2009)

well, i've been here since July 2007. currently in part 4. well, life is always about up and down. thats da rule to survive...

well,these were us. still budak2.LOL~ our year in semester 2, 2008.

some still surve, some went to find their own destiny...

these are the boys. joel is no longer with us, but he's doin great somewhere else. keep it up bro!!!

my years with all of you were such an enjoyable experience,

we've gone through alot together,

we do cry,

we do laugh,

we do make fun,

we do hate,

but those what makes the bond stronger than you can imagine...

hope to see you guys at graduation day,

a year from now...

~xoxo~

Sally's Song

i dont exactly know why i like this song.

one of my friend ever told me that it was scary.

oh, com'on...

listen to it and let me know what you guys think about it...

"Lead Me To The Cross"

Savior I come

Quiet my soul remember

Redemptions hill

Where Your blood was spilled

For my ransom

Everything I once held dear

I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross

Where Your love poured out

Bring me to my knees

Lord I lay me down

Rid me of myself

I belong to You

Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I

Tempted and trialed

You are

The word became flesh

Bore my sin and death

Now you're risen

To your heart

Lead me to your heart