Well...

It has been quite a time since my last post and now, I'm writing again. For self interest of course. To be frankly, I am so bored now. Missing my dear old friends so much. Well, everyone grew older am I right? Everyone have their own way and journey to move on with. I really do misses them so much. Last Christmas, I was away, well, for the very first time of course. I've been missing lots of events and left my family back in Miri. Well, it,s not like I abandoned them. I just could not make my way back home. Only 1 day leave given by the company. How pathetic! Ruran was in Miri and I did not managed to see her. Wish can give a huge hug. Supang getting mature in her own way and Rinai was invisible though we are in Kuching.*Laughing*. Didn't meant that she forgot me, it's just that we both were busy with this practical thingy and didn't have time 2 hang-out with one another since we are seperated by distances...

*girls, I really do miss you guys lerrr.....

WHAT AM I GOIN TO DO???

July-November 2009
Well, to be frank, this is my last semester studying theory in UiTM Samarahan...
Next semester, I'll be goin' for my practical..
for now, I ain't sure where will I goin' to be placed...
Last 2 months during semester break, it wasn't that interesting I can say..
Lots of work need to be done...
My practical, my resume, family matters..
bla...bla...bla...
coming back to campus for the last 3 weeks were unpredictable..
everything happen, in and out, too sudden...
our trip was firstly cancel due to H1N1 whereby we planned to go to Bali by the end of the semester...
so, we had another plan which is to go to Mulu National Park...
well, it was actually still in progress but out of sudden,
IT HAS BEEN CANCELED AGAIN!
my goodness!!!
what's happening actually!
i'm not pointing my fingers to anyone but who to be blame??
I've tried so hard to convinced my mom,
wasting amount of money,
killing myself goin here and there,
calling this person and that,
cryin' fatiquely..
went to this meeting and that meeting which normally wasnt gona end with any good or reasonable decision...
hah!
everyone main lepas tangan you know!
and again, out of sudden,
we were assigned to do one project..
"Cultural Night"
with only one themee.....
we've been discussing among each other..
we have one word perhaps..
"HOLLYWOOD"
WOW!!
how's that gonna be???
seriously....!
sounds interesting aint??
well,sure it is..
I'm looking forward to see better future for this..
phewww....!

ETR is another project need to be done..
GOSH!
does it has to be this difficult??
my pointer was horrible last semester...
I don wanna kill myself for this semester..
i want it to be meaningfull...
sound easy isnt??
well, think twice..
i am still not regret of being here to continue my study cause that is what i want..
i will study no matter how old my age will pass by..
studying is another one good think in my life..
i am not that 100% brilliant student,
but as how everyone thought of their own life,
i thought better of my own future..

this semester is goin to kill me and blended my brain!
AAaaaaRggHHHhhh~


WHAT AM I GOIN TO DO????

I WORSHIP YOU LORD..I LOVE YOU...!!!

LIFE WAS GOIN' QUITE TOUGH LATELY...

Goin' back to my hometown for the last 2 months was hard for me...

well, life isn't that easy all the time...

the night I arrived at home, I have to look after my grandpa...

he barely can't walk..

well, i don't really know why...

few weeks later after Gawai celebration,my other grandpa from dady side passed away...

exactly the next day, my new-born niece passed away few second after she was delivered...

she was so beautiful...

very fair, cute, chubby, and perfect..

but as what people always said, God love those who went earlier than us..

perhaps I believe that but my faith says, that's what God had plan on us....

His words and works are always wonderfull...

believe in Him, you'll have your eternal life..

that's not the end of the story..

i lost my dearest pet named Angel,a rabbit..

he died too..*sob2*

I won't question all that...

God is good all the time and all the time God is good...

I love all of you..

My prayers wont stop...

stays in my heart as all of you were part of my life..

*GOODBYE*

M.I.S.S.I.N.G

There are many things I have been missing alot lately...

I miss my rabbit back in Miri...

I miss my family so much though I'm goin back this comin' thursday...

I miss my days when I was an athelete...

Those days were totally awsome...

i won medals by medals...

most of them were "GOLD"

arrRRggHH...!!!

I miss my sporty life!!

wish can go back to school...

i miss my dad..

i miss my days in KEM PRINCESS HALIZA, SEPANG...

I miss Mickey and Brownie...

I miss hanging around with my fwens in mIri...

I miss my backyard...

I miss driving mom's car without she knowin' it..

i miss chillin' around with my kazens...

i miss skateboarding...

i miss swimming...

i miss! i miss! i miss!!!!!

aduuuuuhhh.....!

seriously I miss everything!

~xoxoxoxo~

You Told Me in A Dream You Always Loved Me....

You told me in a dream you always loved me.

I wept with joy at what with joy you said.

My sadness was not there.

It was so lovely.

And with you was my darling, also dead.

The sky was with an early sunrise burning,

Yet still with ample darkness for the moon,

Which held the secret of its youthful yearning

Although it knew that it would vanish soon.

How wonderful, I thought, at last to hear you

Say what I had known but never heard!

Abandoned, I have long longed to be near you

And find my long-lost refuge in a word.

I saw the truth of it within your eyes

And blessed the dream that ends but never dies.

ps: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MAMY...

"another day to go on with"

move on an keep on move on..
sometimes it is just so hard to face another day...
no wonder there were people who dare to commit suicide..
it makes me think..
why life must be so hard, so difficult, so challenging, so frustrating???
it makes other hate themselves more..
it makes people feel down of themselves when ever they're not strong..
i want to understand that...
i want changes in life..
my life, other people lifes....
strenght, love, courage and enthusiasm what create life to its' best..
when you say you love someone, how much does it exactly means to you???
till which level will you sacrifice for your loves one?
sometimes being selfish is also good when you know how to use it..
i live my life by bothering to care about others....
i care about how they feel what they want and what they need..
perhaps sometimes i wont be able to fulfill everything
but at least i am there to listen to every words they eager to tell others who willing to hear..
but i forgot that i never care anything about me...
but i am always fine with it as i have my dearest Jesus with me..*winking*
there are people who lost their loves one...
some of them still can survive without the person whom they love so much are no longer around...
but some are not...
i lost my dad when i was 17...
doctor said he was unable to survive because of heart attack...
3 years has passed by but i still feel his presence around me..
i can say that i am among those whom sometimes can be very stubborn to accept reality and facts cause those two words can be very heart-tearing...
i still cry even until now for losing my dad..
he's the best!
but i have to move on...
i hope other people are like me..
that's how life suppose to be..
we came in alone and with nothing to the earth...
and that is how we will leave it one day..
perhaps dady is watching over me...
i always pray that dady is with HIM up there...

p/s: "dear Lord, i pray that my dady's soul is rested in peace as he is joining Your kingdom for now and forever. give me strenght and wisefull thought as i am living in this world walking every steps i have. lead me dear Father, as i kneel on my knee and giving up all my body and soul to you Lord, let everything that will happen is as how You want it to be for me..."